don't drink drugs think of the childs

i am uncomfortable

Please

omfg

dad: son i have something to tell you
son: im adopted arent i?
dad: well no....not exactly...son...my son....you came out of the toaster
son: oh...dad....this is....i cant believe it...

librarian-byday:

I swear, I will do this every single time one of my little brothers graduates from somewhere.

evilvagina:

I AM LAUGHING SO HARD

cokeflow:

tumblr has defiled my sense of humor and now I’m on this new tier of humor that no one in real life understands

foxnewsofficial:

“balloon sword”

thepensivebrony:

“you shouldn’t be depressed, people have it worse than you”

finally, after years of searching, the person with the worst life ever is found. formally, they are granted permission to be sad. but only them. only they have earned it. no sads for anyone else at all ever

falconbrunch:

when cute boys come into the shop

when theyre with their girlfriend

gorgeousdarren:

when you forget capslock is on and google something really aggressively by accident